A good read for Rainbow Mommas

Awaiting Autumn

I just finished reading Celebrating Pregnancy Again by Franchesca Cox.

Francesca’s story details her journey from pregnancy loss to pregnancy after loss. Her story is a raw tale of how she balanced her grief and joy during her rainbow pregnancy. It also includes tips and advice for how to handle the “new normal” and find ways to celebrate your pregnancy, even when you are fearful.

I highly recommend this book to any Momma experiencing pregnancy or parenting after loss who is needing some reassurance that she is not alone, her feelings are normal and her experiences are valid.

This book was an easy read, only 74 pages!

Best of all: the Kindle edition is FREE. Download it now.

celebrating pregnancy again

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In life we know someone who has lost a baby through PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS.

HOW do we know that? The statistics in the UK are 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in the result of a loss of a baby.

We are a group of parents who have endured the pain of loosing our babies through pregnancy and infant loss.

PLEASE HELP  us by gaining a NATIONAL REMEMBRANCE DAY  in memory of them, where those affected can unite together and create awareness and openly show their love and pride for their children.

Please SIGN AND SHARE our petition. (Please be patient as this site is suspended due to the recent general election in the UK-but it will be open soon for MORE signatures.


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The First Year

I have not been blogging as much as I would like to.  My time has been spent with my family and work, which is not a bad thing.  I really should be more proactive about my writing though.  At this point Stella is 13 months old and so much has happened recently.  We threw her a big first birthday party. Although it was so much fun to plan, I am glad its over because it was very stressful.  Having 40 people in our home was a lot to handle in one day.  Im not big on themes (as I do believe the first birthday is always for parents and family anyways), so we opted for a color scheme of gold, pale pink and light turquoise…it was classy and perfect.  We were very blessed to have so much family come from out of town and a few close friends join us.  From the decorations to the food to the cupcakes, it was a special and emotional experience I will never forget.  After all, they only turn one once. We also had the pleasure of baptizing my niece (now goddaughter) and daughter together.  It was a beautiful occasion.  We couldn’t of asked for a more blessed day and great start to our year. God is watching over us…

Shortly after her birthday she began to take some steps on her own.  Although at this point she only takes a few steps here and there, we aren’t pushing her to walk…in her own time she will get there.  She is a good eater might I add, just like her dad, she likes everything we put in front of her…veggies and all! We did find out she is especially keen on yogurt and loves fruit. At this point she has 6 teeth and I believe she is going to get her molars in soon…yeah, not.  I heard that it can be painful for young children, but we shall see.  The hardest part for us right now has been trying to transition her from her bottle to a sippy cup. We found out whole milk doesn’t sit well with her so we have her on unsweetened almond milk which she loves, now its just about the transition…nights will be difficult, but nothing we cant take on together.

The first year of a child’s life is like the first year of marriage…exciting, new, fun and stressful all at the same time.  My best advice, take time for each other, its very important. Try and not fight about the small stuff and enjoy your child together, as a family.  Remember what got you there in the first place and try to respect each other, listen and have patience. It ain’t easy but its worth it.

Since my last post about kids fashion and where to shop small, I have found some new places that I love, so I’d thought I’d share…maybe someone out there is reading this or maybe I’m just talking to myself (which happens a lot) 😊 Without further ado…

Rad Republic Threads: http://www.radrepublicthreads.com – awesome apparel for the whole family and they are based in Cali, which I love

Enjoy Essential: http://www.enjoyessential.com – cute kids tees

Gracious May: http://www.graciousmay.com – great shoes for kids

Thrifty Littles: http://www.thriftylittles.com – deals and trends for the modern mama Miss Molly June Designs: she makes THE CUTEST custom dresses, rompers and sun suits

I could go on for days about fun stuff for my babe, but i’ll stop there….until next time.


P.S. if you are out there, thank you for the follow/read


When the night changes

Awaiting Autumn

On that unforgettable night in the hospital, my life changed forever.

Confirmed ectopic rupture.

Emergency surgery.

They put me under and when I awoke hours later, my baby was gone. I was no longer pregnant. I was missing my left fallopian tube.





For quite a while, I was afraid of the night.

It felt like each sleep brought me farther away from what was; what we once had. Each time the sun set, I longed to go back to before. Surely, if I went back there would be something I could have changed.

Did I do something wrong?

Did I not want her enough?

As the darkness crept in, I laid in bed crying as my heart broke over and over again. Night after night, I knew I would have to face my own fears, regrets, sorrow and grief.

I longed for comfort.

I longed for…

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For all the Mama’s awaiting their rainbows

Awaiting Autumn

I’ve been struggling to find words lately, lost in a temporary spell of writer’s block.

I would share this article with all Mama’s who are currently waiting for the arrival of their rainbows. XO 

This piece Dear Sweet Mama… Your Courage Roars was written by Angela Miller and originally posted on Standing Still Magazine.

Dear Sweet Mama… Your Courage Roars,

Courage, n.

It doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means boldly staring fear in the face and declaring,fear will not win.

Not this time.

You’re doing this. No matter what. And I know you know how many panic-attack-inducing-pee-your-pants-break-your-heart scenarios can trade places with what.

But you’re doing this anyway. Again.

Despite your fear, despite your second guessing. Despite your broken heart. Despite that you’re not “healed” from last time and never will be. Despite the flashbacks and panic attacks drenched in sweat that still wake you up in the middle…

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Two Years Ago Today…

It’s been two years ago today that I had surgery and lost our angel. It does get easier as the time passes, but it’s not something I will ever forget. My scar will always remind me of that horrific and scary day.
As I got Stella up for the day today, she was unusually cuddly. I do believe she could feel my energy, so I took that moment to hold her a little tighter and thank God for my beautiful blessing. I can’t imagine life without my Rainbow Baby, and for that I am extremely thankful. Tears of sadness and tears of happiness for me today…
God works in amazing ways.



Good news, bad news – pregnant but in the wrong place

Dr. Mark Trolice

Fetus-21Defining an ectopic pregnancy

The initial goal of every normal pregnancy is for an embryo to implant inside a woman’s uterus.  An ectopic pregnancy is defined as a pregnancy located in any other location than the upper portion of the uterus.  Currently, the incidence of ectopic pregnancies is 2% of spontaneous conceptions, increasing to 5% from pregnancies established through assisted reproductive technology (ART) and 6-8% with a history of a tubal surgery or a prior ectopic.  Over 80% of ectopic pregnancies occur in the fallopian tube, with the remainder found in the cornu (opening to the fallopian tubes) of the uterus, the cervix, the ovary, and even the abdominal cavity (1% of ectopic pregnancies).   A much more rare event is a heterotopic pregnancy defined as two embryo implantations simultaneously occurring in the uterus and an ectopic location.  The incidence of a heterotopic pregnancy is 1 in 10,000 spontaneous conceptions but…

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The Gift That Keeps On Giving…

As I sit here and reflect on this holiday eve, I have so much to be thankful for today.  My rainbow baby, now 10 months, is healthy (aside from the previous ear infection and croup, she’s good), happy and thriving tremendously.  I cant thank God enough for this wonderful blessing and to be able to share this time with my husband, family and friends. She’s now pretty much eating everything (except berries and most dairy products) and is loving it.  The little one is great. There’s nothing she doesn’t like…so far.  Stella is verrrrry close to walking at this point. She can stand up by herself, pulls herself up on everything and will walk if you hold her hands.  I definitely think she’ll be walking before her first birthday…which brings me to the planning.  Oh the planning is in full force and I’m trying to be very organized about everything, as this will be a huge event, naturally. Her outfit is bought, smash cake and cupcakes ordered, catering organized, some decorations bought and everything else in the works. Don’t judge me, its serious business.

At her 9 month check up she weighed 18.6lbs and 28 inches long.  Doc said she’s average weight but a little tall for her age, which is hilarious considering both my husband and I are shorties…she’ll grow out of it, pun intended. She did get an ear infection and croup shortly after, but thankfully its starting to subside and hopefully will go away soon. That croup cough is nasty. 😦

As long as I can remember, I always wanted boys. Boys were easier, their clothes were cuter, they were easier to take care of, dress, no fuss…but I think I’ve settled in just fine raising my daughter.  She’s as girly as can be…although we do still get the “he’s so cute” every once in a while. I love picking out her clothes and dressing her up, she is just so beautiful and full of life. I’ve become intrigued with shopping small, for the uniqueness of it and the homemade aspect, and have found some really great shops.  My most favorite has to be the headwraps and headbands, its become a little obsession of mine, although the moccasins and shoesies are a close second.

If you are ever interested, here are just a few, check out:

Camden & Kate- Etsy

Tink and Key- they have their own website

Hudsons Mocc Shop- Store Envy

Little Gypsy Finery- Big Cartel

Love Crush Bowtique- Etsy

Violet Bowtique- Etsy

Shelby Chic Boutique- Store Envy

Until next time…





If only, my child, I could send,
A basket filled with love,
And pretty blue forget-me-not’s
To your new home above.
If only I could send a hug
Past every twinkling star,
And a suitcase filled with kisses
Up to heaven where you are.
If only I could rock you
As I did not long ago,
And sing you one more lullaby
Before you had to go.
If only’s fill my every thoughts
As my heart is aching for you.
With faith, I’ll wait until the time
“If only’s” all come true

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Don’t Bite the Boob that Feeds You

So it’s official, no more breastfeeding. My little 7 month old had finally figured out how to use the two little teeth she has, to chomp on moms nipple. Yesterday all she did was bite. I honestly didn’t think it would effect me like this, but realizing she no longer will need me for that anymore, makes me sad. I guess I can say I gave it all I got, literally.
Can’t believe how fast she is growing up…

until next time.

Xoxo N